Things I don't think about keeping

So the steroid provider to the stars, Brian McNamee, has given the feds syringes covered with steroid residue and blood, allegedly from Roger Clemens. He said that he has kept them since 2001 because he suspected that Clemens would deny using steroids.

It seems that he, in the normal course of his day, sometime around Sept 11th, said to himself while shooting drugs in baseball players' butts, "Perhaps someday seven years from now I'll have to testify to a Congressional hearing and, judging by his butt, Roger Clemens will likely deny that I ever did this. I suppose that I should hold on to this bloody syringe as proof. I'll put it in that old pair of shoes for safe keeping." I've included an artist (my) rendition of this event. McNamee's crooked hand is purely for illustrative effect and not based in reality. Although Clemen's tattoo is also conjecture, it is likely accurate.



It seems many people keep things that I couldn't ever imagine holding onto. Take as a second example, Monica Lewinski's dress. I know that I am a slob, bordering on unhealthily so. Just ask Sarah. However, the idea of holding onto these types of things seems truly crazy.

So next time Sarah says that my things are in shambles or disgustingly dirty, I'll say, "At least I don't have a store of other people's drugs and DNA." Now that's an argument that's hard to beat.