Whale songs in my sinuses

The family has all been producing mucus at combined volumetric rate roughly equal to output of a Wendy's Frosty machine. Your diet will thank me for that image next time you want to order one. Further, our consumption of tissues may be putting the North American forests in jeopardy due to increases in demand for paper pulp.

There is a benefit that seems to have come from it though. We now have the ability to communicate with whales. Contrary to what people have told me, I do not actually have a blowhole. However, after blowing my nose I can now produce squeals and clicks that are a deadly accurate mimic of whale songs.

We seem to be getting better over the last couple days and our lame superpowers (à la Aquaman) may be coming to an end. For those who have wondered what they would do if they had superpowers for a day, trust me, you mostly nap and sneeze.